It might sound like an overstatement, but it's been scientifically proven that the language we use in our self-talk can really influence our thoughts and perspective on things.
I was slightly skeptical until I tried it myself. But then phrases like 'I can't do this' turned into 'I haven't learned how to do this yet', and the feelings and streams of thoughts that came with them changed as well.
For example the feeling of defeatedness can turn into hope, and frustration can turn into motivation. And all just by reshaping the language all use. Pretty powerful, right?
The science behind it (made simple)
We need to talk about the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis to be able to understand exactly how language shapes how we think. This theory developed by Edward Sapir and Benjamin Lee Whorf, also referred to as Theory of Linguistic Relativity, supports that the linguistic structure of a person's language influences how they perceive the world around them. It highlights that language either determines or influences one's thoughts.
This theory is important because it helps us understand that language is not just describing thoughts and feelings, it's actually also shaping them.
What other research proves this?
Your brain can change based on the language you use. For instance, bilingual people who extensively use both of their core language have stronger brain connections and better problem-solving skills
The following paper observes that even though bilinguals engage essentially the same universal language brain network as monolinguals, the different languages being used influence how different areas work.
Conceptual Act Theory says that emotions aren't hardwired feelings we're born with, but created from three sources: the sensations inside our body, the information we take in from the world around us, and the concepts we've learned. Language is what ties it all together.
Interesting real-life examples
To show you some real-life examples of this, I've compiled below some words that don't have a direct equivalent in English. This means that there are thoughts and feelings that people who speak other languages can easily convey, but now English speakers, as we'd need a full sentence that is carefully nuanced in order to refer to the same reality. The same happens with other languages as well by the way, just using English as an example for convenience.
Lagom (Swedish). You might have heard about this one, it means not too light and not too much, just the right amount.
Tsundoku (Japanese). This is something many of us have occasionally been guilty of, it refers to the act of buying books and letting them pile up, unread.
Fernweh (German). Fernweh is a very unique feeling, it's an ache for distant places, a deep longing to travel somewhere you've never been before.
Jayus (Indonesian) Jayus is basically a joke that is so bad that it's actually funny.
Friolero/a (Spanish) A friolero is someone who can't stand the cold and is always wearing more layers than others around them.
Kaamos (Finnish) This word encapsulates the deep stillness and melancholy of the polar night.
There are also other phenomena that show how language changes perception, for instance:
Spatial thinking
The Kuuk Thaayorre people of Australia use cardinal directions (north, south, east, west) instead of relative directions (left, right). Because of this, they have developed a great sense of direction, and always know if they're facing north, south, east or west, even in unfamiliar places.
Colour perception
There is a tribe in Namibia (Himba tribe) that categorises colour differently to English speakers. They have many words for shades of green, but only one word that refers to a mix of blue and green.
As a result, they are able to identify shades of green that would look the same to us, however we'd be better at identifying blue, as our language marks it as a distinct colour.
Time conceptualisation
There are several ways of conceptualising time depending on the language you use. Mandarin speakers tend to describe time as if it was on a vertical axis. For example 'last month' is translated as 'up month', while 'next month' is 'down month'.
Using that kind of language to talk about time results in visualising earlier events as 'up' and later events as 'down', unlike English speakers who typically think of time horizontally.
Risk and decision-making
People who can speak a foreign language usually report that they are able to make more rational and less emotionally-driven decisions, because the emotional weight of words is reduced when they're not in your native tongue. Is this something you can relate to?
How you can use this to your advantage
What's great about all this is that there are certain techniques you can apply in your daily life to hack your thoughts through your language choices.
Once you start noticing the language you're using in self-talk and when speaking to others, you'll be able to make more mindful decisions, in a way that you can deeply benefit from.
Here are three ways to start exploring the language of your thoughts:
Be mindful of your internal dialogue
Take a moment to sit down and focus on what you've been telling yourself throughout the day. Notice any negative patterns? Is there anything that can be improved? Sometimes a small shift like going from thinking 'this is too hard' to 'this is a challenge, but challenges will help me grow' can make a huge difference.
Name your feelings
There are times when we feel bad but we don't know exactly why. Or we might think it's because of a recent event, when in reality, there might be something deeper going on.
Getting more specific about the words that describe your emotions can help dissolving this fog.
For instance, here are some generic feelings divided into more specific words to describe the nuances of each of them. Try going through this list next time you feel that you can't quite name your feeling:
| Emotion Category | Feeling Words |
|---|---|
| Sadness | abandoned, ashamed, disappointed, despairing, grieving, heartbroken, hopeless, hurt, lonely, melancholic, nostalgic, rejected, regretful, sorrowful, discouraged |
| Anger | aggravated, annoyed, betrayed, bitter, enraged, frustrated, furious, hostile, impatient, indignant, irritated, jealous, outraged, resentful, vengeful |
| Fear / Anxiety | anxious, apprehensive, fearful, hesitant, insecure, nervous, overwhelmed, panicked, shy, suspicious, tense, uncertain, uneasy, vulnerable, worried |
| Joy | amused, content, delighted, elated, enthusiastic, excited, grateful, happy, hopeful, optimistic, playful, proud, relieved, satisfied, serene |
| Surprise / Confusion | amazed, astonished, bewildered, confused, curious, disoriented, flustered, intrigued, puzzled, shocked, startled, stunned, overwhelmed, uncertain, intrigued |
Question your automatic thoughts
Your brain loves to make quick interpretations of what's happening, but it doesn't always get it right.
To double-check with yourself you can ask:
- 'Is this a fact that corresponds with reality or just a thought'?
- 'Are there other ways to frame this?'
- 'Am I using absolute language like "always" or "never"?'
- 'What would I say to my friend if they told me this?'
- 'If I was describing this to a friend, would I use the same words?'
This practice can be so helpful to help you gain clarity, as it's a lot harder to solve things when you lack the resources to fully pinpoint what the issue is.
I've got something for you
Thank you for getting all the way to the end of the post. I wanted to share that I've been working on a resource to help you get started on the process of gently rewiring your thought patterns through intentional language choices.
We've gone through the theory of how all of this works, but it can be confusing to try to put it in practice, that's why I created the Language & Thought Mindfulness Journal. It's not your average pretty journal, it's actually packed with psycholinguistic techniques to help you achieve the results you want.
How it can help you:
- Learn to notice your thoughts with short daily prompts that gently guide your attention to what's on your mind.
- Spot unhelpful patterns by using the journal's simple tracking pages to see which words keep showing up.
- Put feelings into words through creative prompts like mood metaphors or letters to yourself.
- Shift how you think and feel with curated quotes from linguists and researchers that highlight how words can shape the way you think and feel.
- See your growth each week with built-in check-ins that help you celebrate wins and set fresh intentions.
Final thoughts
Language is so powerful because it's the tool we use to understand and describe the world around us. It influences what we think and how we feel.
So notice the words you use, and give yourself permission to reconsider them if they no longer serve you.
A kinder and more mindful internal voice is not built in a day, but every step you take towards it is simultaneously a step towards clarity, self-trust, and peace.
